Baby, You're Worth It!

For all those moms who have stuck with breast feeding through thick and thin, you deserve an award! I thought breast feeding would be fairly simple- all you need is boobs, baby, and a pump to go back to work... Right?
Well, I'd say now that's the case if you are lucky and blessed!
Right after Jonah was born, I tried to breast feed. I was very thankful to the L&D nurse who fended off the nursery nurses long enough to let me try. I noticed quickly that there might be a problem. He couldn't seem to latch on and my nipple didn't seem to stay up. So the next day, after hours of frustration and concern, the lactation nurse noted that I had "inverted nipples" (aka not your typical mama nipples).
Since Jonah was small and my milk had not come in, she set me up on a supplemental tube and nipple shield to give him something extra to eat and latch onto. I put a pic of it below to help explain.
For those who have never nursed, I don't think you'll quite get the initial pains of latching on. My mom put it best by calling it a "toe curling" pain. And oh she was right!
After the milk came in, nursing did get easier. I was still having to use the shield but I was trying these special cups to get my nipple to stand out more. They work through the first half of my feeding, but then my nipples go back down and I need the shield.
Due to traveling and poor timing, I let myself become engorged one too many times and now I have mastitis. What I thought hurt before pales in comparison to the pain now when he latches on. So I'm stuck in bed, trying to feed every 2 hrs (we had been on a wonderful 4 hr schedule), crying when we feed, and having to supplement again with formula since this has cut into my milk supply!
To say the least, I've thought long and hard about formula! But, even though it can very painful and socially inconvenient (and very difficult to do with a nipple shield even with the nursing cover-- the awkward stares from guys don't help either), I have to look at my precious baby boy and know that he is worth it all! If this makes him healthier and happier, you better believe I'll try until I can't! Plus, I've been told it gets easier-- so why suffer and then stop right before it gets better?! A happier momma and baby soon to come!

P.S. for all future moms who are considering breastfeeding, don't let my situation scare you! My scenario is not the norm!