There are lots of things that Jonah does that makes me smile. But sometimes the people around Jonah make me smile too!
We were at the mall yesterday and Alan was getting his hair cut and I had just finished feeding Jonah. Jonah was doing fine for a few minutes until the world started caving in! He suddenly realized he was in an unfamiliar place with a bunch of weird smells and sounds. He did not approve and so voiced it. Loud enough for the whole mall to hear.
It doesn't bother me any more to hear him cry because I know what he is saying. "Mom, I have a wet diaper and I'm scared! I don't know where I am and there are all theses weird sounds and smells! I don't like it!"-- that's what I hear. However, most people hear "PANIC!!!" or at least that's what I see go across their faces!
So I causally walked over to get a drink from the pretzel shop (and I used my super woman powers to resist a pretzel). The poor kid at the cash register had this look of "why is it crying and why won't it stop?! What do I do?!", but kindly said "oh, um he seems upset." To which I replied, "Yes, we're a lil fussy today", smiled and went on into JCPenny's to find a changing station. While walking through, I could see the terror rush across peoples faces! It was like I had a rare disease or ravenous monster in the stroller! I just kept a smile across my face and made it to the changing station.
Jonah calmed down for a little bit but then picked back up with much aggression, saying "You took care of the diaper, but I still don't like where I am mommy!!" So I did my best to calm him but he was still unhappy.
Another 15 min of crying and terrorizing people at the mall until I found some warm water for him to suck on. That helped and the poor citizens of the mall were relieved. The whole situation just made me smile. I felt like I should go an consul the people that it's going to be ok... baby's cry! That's how they communicate!
On a not so happy note, my milk supply isn't picking back up after the mastitis. I've done everything that every lactation website says to do (even some weird semi-superstitious things-- it's hard finding a juju doll for myself) and I'm still having to supplement with formula. At first, I was really starting to feel like a failure as a mom. The lactation websites didn't help with their "You're going to hell if you don't breast feed!" slogans. But thanks to some wonderful, godly and supportive friends, I was brought back to reality and knowing that I'm doing everything I can to love my lil Jonah. I'll continue to breast feed until I'm dry, but it's still a lil sad that things turned out this way. But I'm not giving up on a miracle!
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